Sex Cannon, Meet Your Understudy

Took long enough but hot damn a Florida Gators draft update is upon us. The Gators sent more players to the NFL this year than any other college team in this glorious nation–and deservedly so. After placing third overall in the Women’s NCAA Gymnastics Championships on Friday, we were wondering how UF would rebound.

Anyway, you’re sure to see quite a few professional Gators in The League next season, none more executive looking than the Sex Cannon himself pictured here alongside his dreamy-eyed apprentice.

Here’s how things went down for the Gators on draft day…

• [S] Reggie Nelson: Jacksonville (First Round)
• [DE] Jarvis Moss: Denver (First Round)
• [DT] Ray McDonald: San Francisco (Third Round)
• [DT] Joe Cohen: San Francisco (Fourth Round)
• [DT] Marcus Thomas: Denver (Fourth Round)
• [CB] Ryan Smith: Tennessee (Sixth Round)
• [LB] Brandon Siler: San Diego (Seventh Round)
• [WR] Dallas Baker: Pittsburgh (Seventh Round)
• [RB] DeShawn Wynn: Green Bay (Seventh Round)

Undrafted but signed through free agency:

• [QB] Chris Leak: Chicago
• [CB] Reggie Lewis: Buffalo
• [WR] Jemalle Cornelius: Buffalo
• [FB] Billy Latsko: Carolina
• [OL] Steve Rissler: Dallas
• [P] Eric Wilbur: Houston
• [LB] Earl Everett: Cincinnati

Good to see Gainesville native Billy Latsko sign with a team despite it being Carolina. We aren’t big fans of baby blue or teal or whatever colors the Panthers wear. We also don’t really like the Panthers’ efforts to tone down their cheerleading squad.

But hey, at least cornerback Ryan Smith signed with Tennessee! Hopefully he can step right in, fill Pacman’s shoes and occasionally–just occasionally– make it rain on some hoes.

“Well he shouldn’t have made it rain then. He shouldn’t have made it rain.”

Just Give Me Your Damn Job

Keyshawn Johnson expressed his approval in the Carolina Panthers for drafting Dwayne Jarrett. Some exact quotes from Keyshawn were “we need a third receiver” and “this guy [Jarrett] is much like me. I’m going to teach him how to play from the point of attack.”

First of all, I don’t believe that Keyshawn Johnson is genuinely excited about the possibility of being the mentor to a young receiver. He is one of the most selfish players in the NFL; he wrote a book titled “Just Give Me The Damn Ball.” One more thing Keyshawn. It’s probably not a good thing when someone who is faster than you, taller than you, almost 15 years younger than you, and plays your style gets drafted to your team.

Carolina’s front office was probably watching ESPN’s draft coverage and heard Keyshawn tell his buddies during the coverage that “he [Jarrett] plays exactly like me.” Then it clicked. “Jarrett is similar to Keyshawn. Who needs two possession receivers? Let’s just clear some cap room and cut Johnson.”

I wonder if Keyshawn still loves Jarrett now that he took his job?